


Say Something

by cleverusernameloading



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Coma, M/M, Songfic, Spoilers, drunk poe, for the end of the movie, sad poe, various states of poe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 10:33:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5536625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleverusernameloading/pseuds/cleverusernameloading
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe wishes Finn would  wake up. Or move. Or speak. Anything to break the awful, stifling, heart-rending <em>silence</em> that blankets the room.</p><p>aka, I saw the movie two days ago and I am already stormpilot trash</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Something

**Author's Note:**

> after reading most of the fics for this ship on this site, I was just chilling with my playlist when Say Something (A Great Big World, Christina Aguilera) started playing and I was just like mY SPACE BABIES. I have a tendency to associate songs with everything fandom. it's a problem, okay?
> 
> this is only vaguely related to the song but tbh you can fight me if you'd like to

The silence is so terrible that it _hurts_. 

Technically, the room isn't silent. Monitors beep, machinery hums, people walk past the door, but it's silent of the only thing that matters--Finn. 

It doesn't feel right for Finn to be quiet (although Poe isn't sure why he thinks that considering he's barely known the kid for any time at all). Finn should be up and about, full of energy and wonder and goodness--not stuck here, silently fighting for his life on a bed in a military base. 

He wishes they had had more time. 

(Of course, he immediately berates himself for his thoughts because _don't talk like Finn isn't going to make it, Dameron_. It hovers in his mind nonetheless.) 

(He wishes they had had more time.) 

* * *

Poe wishes Finn would wake up. Or move. Or speak. Anything to break the awful, stifling, heart-rending _silence_ that blankets the room. But Finn can't. So Poe takes it upon himself. 

"You know, buddy," he says quietly, "I would be really sad if you didn't make it." 

There's no reply (which of course Poe was expecting, but that doesn't make it hurt any less). 

"Seriously, though. All you've experienced in life is the First Order. Which sucks. A lot. Like, there's so much stuff you haven't gotten to do--and you need to do it, okay, Finn? Besides, I still need to chew you out for messing up my jacket. And putting yourself in danger. Actually, switch those two. Lack of self-preservation skills addressed first, then jacket. Although, technically, if you hadn't put yourself in mortal danger the jacket would have been fine too. That's not to say I don't care about you more than the jacket--you're definitely higher priority to me, especially considering that you're, you know, a person, and my--your?--jacket is a piece of clothing, and you're pretty attractive as far as people go-" 

It's right about then that Poe comes to the realization that he, Poe Dameron, Resistance hotshot, the best pilot in the whole galaxy, sounds like an absolute idiot. An absolute idiot with a crush. 

He takes a deep breath and says, "Don't die, okay? Please." 

He's definitely not crying when he leaves the room. 

* * *

"Hey, guess what, Finn?" Poe says to the silent (as always) man in front of him. "I fixed up the jacket. Your jacket. It's yours now, buddy. Well, it's been yours but you seemed to kind of not get that before so now I'm telling you definitively that it is in fact yours. To keep." 

The smile that had unconsciously grown on his face as he was explaining fades away as the only sound is the beeping of Finn's heart monitor. "Right. Okay. Well, I'm going to leave it here on the table for you. That way if I'm not around when you wake up"-- _because you will, you have to,_ please _, Finn_ \--"you'll know that I'm thinking about you. Which sounds sappy, but who cares? You can't hear me, and there's no one else around." 

It occurs to him that, although he isn't sure, this might actually be the first gift Finn has ever gotten. The thought is painful and saddening and vaguely horrifying all at once, and Poe suddenly has to put a lot of extra effort into keeping it together. 

"I'll be back tomorrow," he says, and his voice is very steady thank you very much. "Don't die or anything, Finn. Please." 

* * *

Over the next three weeks, Poe spends most ( _all_ , BB-8 corrects whenever he gets the chance) of his free time in the infirmary. He brings something to do with his hands and spend hours just _talking_ to Finn. Overheard gossip. Stories from his childhood. Things that his squad has said and done. 

Every day that Finn doesn't reply, doesn't wake up, is increasingly painful. Poe feels like he's fighting a battle he just can't win. Finn is slipping away, and Poe can't do a single thing about it. He feels helpless--and that's not something he's used to feeling. 

More often than not, these visits end with Poe fighting back tears. 

* * *

At some point, Poe realizes that there is a distinct possibility that he's in love with Finn. Finn, who broke through a lifetime of stormtrooper programming just to save an enemy's life. Finn, who Poe gave a name to. Finn, who just looks _so frickin' good_ in Poe's jacket it's not even funny. 

Finn, who's silent. 

Finn, for whom Poe would trade anything just to see awake again. 

* * *

It's after a particularly bad mission--they had succeeded, barely, but he had lost three good pilots and _it was all his fault_ \--that Poe heads for his room instead of Finn's. He can't take any more sadness or anger or helplessness--and, besides, he has a bottle of strong Corellian booze hidden in one of his drawers. 

A quarter of the bottle is gone before he starts crying, and he finishes another two drinks worth by the time he realizes that he really wants to talk to someone. Everyone else will try to convince him that he isn't to blame, so he heads to Finn's room instead.

He sits down in the same chair he always does, puts his head in his hands, and cries some more. 

"It's my fault, Finn," Poe mumbles. "I-I couldn't even keep my own pilots alive. I'm an awful c-commander. I should have known it was a t-trap, I-" 

He breaks off, sobbing harder. "I can't even g-get you to wake up," he whispers, which some part of him knows is illogical. However, that part was drowned out by the alcohol a while ago. "I think I m-might love you, Finn, and I'm s-scared that I'm never going to get to tell you for real. Wake up," he pleads. "S-say something, please, Finn, I want you to wake up so bad and I'm starting to think you're never g-going to and I'm not going to give up on you but-" 

Finn stirs ever so slightly. 

For a moment, Poe is afraid that he's seeing things. But then Finn moves again. The beeps echoing his heartbeat get faster. 

"Finn?" Poe breathes. _Please, buddy, wake up, I need you to wake up, please, please, say something._

And then, the most beautiful thing Poe has ever heard in his life. 

"Poe?" 

It's Finn's voice, weak, the quietest Poe has ever heard it, but it's definitely Finn's voice because Poe can see Finn's mouth moving and he has missed this kid _so much._. There's a sudden heat in his chest that he suspects has nothing to do with the drink, and tears start falling again. 

"Yeah. Yeah, buddy, it's me." 

This time, they're tears of joy.


End file.
